After our time in Tokyo, Ofer and I packed our bags and headed to the bullet train to take us to Kyoto, Japan. Once we found the right train (I’m embarrassed to admit how long that took) we took our assigned seats and prepared for the trip. The bullet train is more like a ground bound airplane. You have assigned seats, tray tables and stewardesses with tasty little treats walking up and down the center aisle.

What struck us once we started moving was that we hadn’t noticed a bell or any announcement to notify passengers of the train’s departure. But right on time the doors quietly closed and the train started down the tracks.

For the next 2.5 hours we watched the Japanese landscape whiz by. It was like Japanese Cliffs notes: we saw a hint of different terrains in short bursts complete with city streets, factories, distant mountains covered in bamboo forests and rice patties peppered with hats bobbing up and down tending the field. Every 20 minutes or so we would pass another bullet train going in the opposite direction. Without fail, every single time this would happen my heart would kick into double time. There was no way to see the train coming and when it did it shook our train with a powerful thud. Or at least that is my experience. Ofer got a kick out of the fact that it scared me EVERY SINGLE TIME.


Once situated in our Kyoto Hotel Ofer and I made dinner plans to go to a restaurant recommended by my Godfather John. It was in an area called Gion Corner. We took the subway there. Just like in Tokyo it was easily the cleanest subway Ofer and I have ever been in, instead of gum stuck to the floor and trash blowing by announcing the arrival of the next train it was like walking through the corridor of an expensive hotel that we can’t afford. We noticed and recalled from Tokyo that each time a train arrived or departed it played it’s own little tune. For the New Yorkers reading: an Uptown bound F train would have a different melody than a Downtown bound F train and an all together different melody than the E line so that commuters coming down stairs and escalators would know if it was in fact their train departing or arriving. It was all very adorable, it reminded me of the music-box melodies that would play whenever I would sneak into my sister’s room and try on her earrings (sorry Deb).

After getting lost in the Gion Corner area for about 20 minutes we finally found the restaurant that my Godfather John had recommended (we can’t take credit for finding it, the chef was kind enough to come downstairs to look for us). What followed for the next 2 hours was the most intricately planned meal we had in Japan. We sat down at the bar with our legs hanging traditionally down below and watched the two chefs as they prepared the meals. That night we had a mixture of traditional dishes and contemporary spins on old world Japanese cuisine. The meal included aged fish, sea urchin, tofu skin, the most delicious eggplant I have ever had, marinated egg yolk, and enough sake to drown us both. All together our guess was it had to have been at least 12 courses. If you are looking for a modern twist on traditional Japanese fare we absolutely recommend KAPPO Sakamoto Restaurant.

Ater the meal Ofer and I slowly waddled home. Our stomaches were so distended it looked as if we had swallowed his and her beach balls. There is no way to suck that in, ladies.

We walked around the streets admiring the old fashioned feel of the town intertwined with the modern Japanese world. We passed street performers and women dressed in the old fashioned garb complete with full white make-up and wooden shoes.

One street performing group impressed Ofer and I so much that we took a seat on the ground at the entrance to the subway to listen to 5 or 6 of their songs. The band was made up of the main singer and his guitar accompanist who backed him up with harmonies. It must have been the first time that I realized that I really didn’t need to understand the language in order to truly enjoy a performance. I had often complained to Ofer that I need to know the words to a song to really enjoy it including songs in other languages which explained why I had the most fun at the Billy Joel concerts rather than concerts of artists I had never heard about.

But this night was different. We heard their music as we were entering the subway I made him come back out to the street surface so we could continue to listen. I, of course, didn’t know the singer or the song but I was entranced. The singer’s commitment and passion to what he was singing was so refreshing. After years of living in NY and seeing broadway shows and feeling like the soundtrack fit by the emotion coming from the actors didn’t it was so nice to see a performer who was so in love with what he does.


During our week or so in Kyoto we saw as many pagodas, temples and open air markets as we could. We were getting better at ignoring the heat as best we could as we hiked deeper and deeper into ‘i have no idea where the subway is’ land. We managed to get caught in a few rain storms, attend a Japanese culture show, sat on some of the coolest toilets we had ever seen, went to the most decked out Karaoke establishment we had ever seen and even went on a few rides at Osaka’s Universal Studios.

By this point we were starting to feel comfortable with the fact that we could pretty much see above everyone’s heads, that it would take us three times as long to understand what someone is trying to say to us, and that McDonalds, something we never eat at home, would be our treat to remind us that America isn’t too far away.

I hate to break it to you America, but Japan really has this whole ‘how to run a community’ down to an art-form. Tokyo has incredibly clean streets, respectful, well groomed citizens and customer service like I have never experienced before. Ofer and I felt like we stepped into the life-sized version of Disneyland (which would explain all of the stuffed animals and why every commercial seems like it is aimed toward 6 year olds).
We noticed pretty quickly that some things were very different in Tokyo than the cities we were used to. At one point I stopped Ofer and pointed out that I had not yet, even once, heard a car honk. No one is sticking fingers out of windows and shouting obscenities at each other. No one is weaving through the streets as if they were in their own one-man car chase. This certainly isn’t San Francisco.

Also when the crosswalk says not to walk...PEOPLE DON’T WALK. Even when there is absolutely no possibility of a car coming, literally hundreds of people stand and wait for the light to change to green. This certainly isn’t New York. I love it. This is due to the fact that I love rules. I love them. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love being told what to do (ask my parents or Ofer). But I love when rules make sense. Ofer, on the other hand, thinks rules stay rules due to a lack of creativity on the followers part. I feel very much encouraged in my outright rule loving by the Japanese culture. No one walks when the light is red, people are curtious to each other and waiters genuinely seem to care about serving you as if you were a guest in their home (even at McDonalds). Because of this we see, what is in my opinion, a much calmer, happier community of people who look out for the general good instead of putting their personal desires ahead of the rest of the group.


I will now do a triple sow-cow dismount off of my soap box.

I found our hotel on priceline.com just about a week before we left for Japan. We got a great deal on a 3 star hotel in the heart of the Ginza district. I had no idea where that was before we got there but the area was perfect. Ginza has it’s own 5th avenue just two streets away from where we were staying. Once we got to the hotel we took some time to walk our new neighborhood. The air was warm and the city was gorgeous. It was a great feeling to feel so comfortable in a place that was so far away from home.

On our first day in Tokyo we walked to the Imperial Palace which was just about a 20 minute walk from our hotel. Unfortunately we went on a day when it was closed, oops. But we got a great view of the city from there. As we walked in we passed a park that was full of very tall, thick, leafy trees. Coming from the trees was an incredibly loud shaking sound. To me it sounded like those gourd instruments with the beads strung around them that sound when you shake them. It really was almost deafening. Ofer told me that the sound was from a kind of insect that lived in the trees, I had never heard anything like that before in my life.


After the Imperial Palace we took the subway to Ueno Park. We had been told by multiple friends and relatives that it was something not to miss. They were right. Ueno Park was massive, complete with museums, temples, gardens, lakes and even a zoo. There was a huge pagoda that we saw in the distance and as we walked toward it we saw that the only way to get access to it was through the zoo. Very tricky of them. Since it was only 6 dollars to enter the zoo, we decided to do it. We then spent the next 3 hours in sheer child-like awe of the animals. We saw zebras, elephants, monkeys, gorillas, penguins, flamingos, red pandas and so much more.

I must have spent a good 30 minutes mesmerized by a cage full of monkeys. They had small faces, long limbs and a tail as long as the length of their bodies. They were fascinating to watch. The used their tail as a 5th appendage. But they didn’t just use them to move around the expanse of their cage, they really seemed to enjoy having a tail. I saw one hang just by his tail and swing himself back and forth before flinging himself to the next bar to try out his next trick. After watching these guys, I now have an answer to the childhood question of, “If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you be?”

For some reason it seemed that whenever we would pass a cage the animals they would start attacking each other. Maybe Ofer and I just bring bad energy. We saw monkeys fighting, the gorillas fight, bats fight and even flamingos fight. I never imagined flamingos going AWOL on each other. It was like watching an episode of “When Stuffed Animals Go Bad”.

All over Tokyo there are streets packed with street vendors. It reminds me of the small alley in Jerusalem to get to the Wailing Wall. Except in Israel they don’t sell fried octopus on a stick. The vendors were selling dried fruit and fish, stationary, clothing, watches, Japanese fans, fried ice cream and fresh seafood. Any time we were in any of these streets they were completely packed, even at 10:00am on a Tuesday. Tourists and locals alike were there to stock up on some of the freshest and most interesting treats and gifts.

Ofer and I tried our first taste of authentic Japanese sushi in a restaurant called Midori Sushi in Ginza. It was recommended to us as one of the best sushi restaurants in all of Tokyo. And even at 11:00 am when we arrived there was already a line out the door. We were led to our seats and promptly ordered two Asahi Beers....we are on vacation you know. Luckily the menu had pictures and we ordered one of the assorted plates and their special house roll. The restaurant was loud. Even though it was a good sized place anytime someone made an order or picked up an order the waitresses would yell the order to the sushi chefs and the sushi chefs would repeat what they heard. It was like the Starbucks of the Japanese world. But the yelling was always done in this very high pitched, almost childlike voice. Which I have had a very fun time of trying on myself.

When the food came Ofer and I were floored. The special house roll must have been 20 times the size of a normal roll. I felt like Alice in Wonderland and the beer had made me shrink to a quarter of my size as I tried to somehow manipulate the monstrous roll into my mouth. No success there. Instead Ofer and I put all of our decency aside and picked out the fish from the roll and created our own sushi.

Look, here comes the honesty part of the blog. We didn’t like the sushi. It must have been the freshest fish right? I mean we were in Japan. And it must have been great sushi right? We had been told that this was the best place to go, and there was a line outside! But we agreed that, at least at this restaurant, the sushi just wasn’t to our liking. Maybe it was more ‘fishy’ than we are used to. But we know that we will need to have a few more attempts at Japanese sushi while we are here to really get a solid opinion.
commercial seems like it is aimed toward 6 year olds).

Don’t be shocked, but while we are in Japan we saw TEMPLES AND SHRINES. Man, they are everywhere. Sometimes Ofer and I had to pinch ourselves and say, we are actually in Japan looking at REAL temples. They were more breathtaking in person than I would have imagined. They are beautiful now and I can only picture them in the spring with the flowers in bloom and during the snows. Incredible.

One night in Tokyo we decided to walk around Shibyu a mini-Times Square if you will. We ducked into a restaurant and had some amazing food. They had one of my favorite dishes in the whole world - SOUP DUMPLINGS. I think Ofer is getting sick of them, but don’t think I could ever get enough.

We decided to order rice wine, just to try. When it arrived I smelled it and decided that I didn’t even want to take a sip. But I took one just to be a sport. And that was it, I was done. Ofer had the same reaction I did. As we continued to eat our meal Ofer started challenging himself to take shots of the rice wine. This turned into him drinking the entire bottle. OY.

After leaving the restaurant Ofer got the brilliantly intoxication notion that he wanted to get a haircut. He decided that since we were on vacation he was going to pay to have the top stylist at the salon. An adorable little lady came over to serve us, we didn’t speak her language and she didn’t speak a word of ours. Ofer proceeded to instruct her with hand gestures that whatever she wanted to do to his hair, that was exactly what he wanted done. I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story.

I think it goes without saying that Ofer learned his lesson. But I learned one too. Although I want to be a sweet, supportive wife, I ultimately will have to be the one looking at him the most. Next time I will exercise my veto power!!!

Have I mentioned that Ofer and I met on Match.com. Yep, we are classy like that. We both had exhausted the dating scene in San Francisco and even had tried our luck on the not-so-promising Jdate (Bay Area version is not as broad as the New York version). But after Ofer and I met, we realized that we happened to live in New York at the exact same time, and at one point very close to each other. I wonder how close we ever got to meeting in New York or San Francisco.

Ofer came to the US from Israel when he was 11 and grew up in New Jersey. He migrated to New York for work in 2000. My father grew up in Brooklyn and I still have a lot of family in the Tri-State area so I was always drawn to the area. I also was into musical theater and decided that New York was the place to be. I know, I wasn’t very original but what can you do. All of this accounts for why we both have close friends and family in the area.

Since we were going to be in NY for the week quickly before leaving the country for at least 6 months we decided to throw ourselves an engagement party. Well two actually. Since we both have our own friends and family the New York area we knew that we wanted to mix our groups together. When we looked at the numbers and saw that there might be up to 45 people at the gathering. With that in mind we split up the parties....one for friends and one for family.

My cousin Leslie and her husband Ed went far beyond the call of duty and actually set up the entire engagement dinner with our friends. It was in a restaurant called Legends close to the Empire State Building. Ed worked his magic and we had the entire bottom floor of the restaurant to ourselves.

We spent the night getting to know each other’s friends and catching up with our own. I felt the same way this night that I did in Israel: I wish we could have had more time with each couple to really catch up. It was so nice to see all of our friends getting along so well and it really made me appreciate what an amazing community of people we had on the coast 6,000 miles away from ‘home’.

Ed and Leslie made a toast at the beginning of the night that meant the world to me and Ofer. Leslie has always been like a sister to me. I can’t count how many times I have called on her for advice and she has always been there for me. I truly gained a friend and a family member when Ed joined the family. He watches out for me as if he were the big brother I always wanted and busts my balls like one too. I know that they will always be a couple that Ofer and I will look up and be close to.

We must have stayed for 5 hours just talking, reminiscing, making new friends, enjoying great bottles of wine and tasty New York food.

The next morning Ofer and I had set up and engagement brunch with our families at the Blue Water Grill in Union Square.

Aside: Two days before the engagement brunch with our families, I convinced Ofer to come with me to one of my favorite restaurants in the city. It is a little hole in the wall Chinese restaurant in Chinatown called Joe’s Shanghai that has the most amazing soup dumplings. I REPEAT THEY HAVE THE MOST AMAZING SOUP DUMPLINGS. Even though it is a relatively small restaurant where you eat family style (seated with other families you don’t know) it is actually incredibly well known. Anyhoo. Ofer and I walked in and were escorted to a table with two men already seated enjoying a meal. We got to talking and found out that both men were chefs. (Do I know how to pick a restaurant or what, I mean, we are eating soup dumplings with freaking chefs!!). We started asking for recommendations for dinner and one of the guys told his friend to send us to the restaurant where he is the chef. With some hesitation he told us that we should try the Blue Water Grill in Union Square. We were sitting eating soup dumplings, family style, with the man who was going to be the chef at our engagement brunch two days later!!!! Is that a New York moment or what. :Aside

We definitely made a great choice for a venue. The private room they put us in was beautiful and easily held our 30 guests. When the party was in full swing Ofer and I were literally surrounded by some of the most influential people in our lives.

2nd Aside: Unfortunately Ofer’s mother could not be with us that day because she, of course, flew to Israel to be with her family after her father’s death. She was missed that day, but Ofer made a beautiful toast to his grandfather and his mother’s absence because of the family’s loss. : 2nd Aside

We all enjoyed a delicious three course meal and Ofer and I tired to jockey around the room to get a chance to be with each group and ensure that people were meeting the rest of the room and enjoying themselves. It was a beautiful day. Ofer gave a beautiful speech. My cousin Bobby who has always been like a second father to me also got up and said some amazing words to the crowd. I got up to give a small speech and leaked out a few words of appreciation before I became a girly mess and got teary about the moment. It’s what I do.

Looking around the room it really hit me what was really happening here. It is not just boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and live happily ever after. There is a whole blending of the families. Look, I know that this is not news to you. But at that moment the grandeur of what was happening in my life really struck me. I was, for the first time, looking at my family. Complete with two sides. These were going to be the people we celebrate holidays with, they will be hold our children, they will support us through hard times. It was one of the most intense moments of my life. I wonder if anyone else noticed.



As full as the room was I was very much missing my immediate family; my mom, dad, Lucinda, Sam, Debra, Gary and the girls. It was a bittersweet engagement party for both Ofer and I not having all of our immediate families there. But I suppose we are living our own variation of the blended family that is happening more and more. Ofer’s mother was in Israel with a great number of his relatives, we were joined by the East Coast sections of our family, more of my family remains speckled all over the world and my closest family were thousands of miles away. It would have been amazing to have had the full family there but I suppose that is what the wedding is for.

Ofer and I realized that very likely the next time we would be seeing many of the people in the room will be at the wedding since we will be pretty MIA over the next 8 months. This applies with both the party with our friends and the brunch with our family. Every person who came have busy schedules and we were so thankful and honored to have so many people choose to celebrate this big step in our lives.