Have I mentioned that Ofer and I met on Match.com. Yep, we are classy like that. We both had exhausted the dating scene in San Francisco and even had tried our luck on the not-so-promising Jdate (Bay Area version is not as broad as the New York version). But after Ofer and I met, we realized that we happened to live in New York at the exact same time, and at one point very close to each other. I wonder how close we ever got to meeting in New York or San Francisco.

Ofer came to the US from Israel when he was 11 and grew up in New Jersey. He migrated to New York for work in 2000. My father grew up in Brooklyn and I still have a lot of family in the Tri-State area so I was always drawn to the area. I also was into musical theater and decided that New York was the place to be. I know, I wasn’t very original but what can you do. All of this accounts for why we both have close friends and family in the area.

Since we were going to be in NY for the week quickly before leaving the country for at least 6 months we decided to throw ourselves an engagement party. Well two actually. Since we both have our own friends and family the New York area we knew that we wanted to mix our groups together. When we looked at the numbers and saw that there might be up to 45 people at the gathering. With that in mind we split up the parties....one for friends and one for family.

My cousin Leslie and her husband Ed went far beyond the call of duty and actually set up the entire engagement dinner with our friends. It was in a restaurant called Legends close to the Empire State Building. Ed worked his magic and we had the entire bottom floor of the restaurant to ourselves.

We spent the night getting to know each other’s friends and catching up with our own. I felt the same way this night that I did in Israel: I wish we could have had more time with each couple to really catch up. It was so nice to see all of our friends getting along so well and it really made me appreciate what an amazing community of people we had on the coast 6,000 miles away from ‘home’.

Ed and Leslie made a toast at the beginning of the night that meant the world to me and Ofer. Leslie has always been like a sister to me. I can’t count how many times I have called on her for advice and she has always been there for me. I truly gained a friend and a family member when Ed joined the family. He watches out for me as if he were the big brother I always wanted and busts my balls like one too. I know that they will always be a couple that Ofer and I will look up and be close to.

We must have stayed for 5 hours just talking, reminiscing, making new friends, enjoying great bottles of wine and tasty New York food.

The next morning Ofer and I had set up and engagement brunch with our families at the Blue Water Grill in Union Square.

Aside: Two days before the engagement brunch with our families, I convinced Ofer to come with me to one of my favorite restaurants in the city. It is a little hole in the wall Chinese restaurant in Chinatown called Joe’s Shanghai that has the most amazing soup dumplings. I REPEAT THEY HAVE THE MOST AMAZING SOUP DUMPLINGS. Even though it is a relatively small restaurant where you eat family style (seated with other families you don’t know) it is actually incredibly well known. Anyhoo. Ofer and I walked in and were escorted to a table with two men already seated enjoying a meal. We got to talking and found out that both men were chefs. (Do I know how to pick a restaurant or what, I mean, we are eating soup dumplings with freaking chefs!!). We started asking for recommendations for dinner and one of the guys told his friend to send us to the restaurant where he is the chef. With some hesitation he told us that we should try the Blue Water Grill in Union Square. We were sitting eating soup dumplings, family style, with the man who was going to be the chef at our engagement brunch two days later!!!! Is that a New York moment or what. :Aside

We definitely made a great choice for a venue. The private room they put us in was beautiful and easily held our 30 guests. When the party was in full swing Ofer and I were literally surrounded by some of the most influential people in our lives.

2nd Aside: Unfortunately Ofer’s mother could not be with us that day because she, of course, flew to Israel to be with her family after her father’s death. She was missed that day, but Ofer made a beautiful toast to his grandfather and his mother’s absence because of the family’s loss. : 2nd Aside

We all enjoyed a delicious three course meal and Ofer and I tired to jockey around the room to get a chance to be with each group and ensure that people were meeting the rest of the room and enjoying themselves. It was a beautiful day. Ofer gave a beautiful speech. My cousin Bobby who has always been like a second father to me also got up and said some amazing words to the crowd. I got up to give a small speech and leaked out a few words of appreciation before I became a girly mess and got teary about the moment. It’s what I do.

Looking around the room it really hit me what was really happening here. It is not just boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and live happily ever after. There is a whole blending of the families. Look, I know that this is not news to you. But at that moment the grandeur of what was happening in my life really struck me. I was, for the first time, looking at my family. Complete with two sides. These were going to be the people we celebrate holidays with, they will be hold our children, they will support us through hard times. It was one of the most intense moments of my life. I wonder if anyone else noticed.



As full as the room was I was very much missing my immediate family; my mom, dad, Lucinda, Sam, Debra, Gary and the girls. It was a bittersweet engagement party for both Ofer and I not having all of our immediate families there. But I suppose we are living our own variation of the blended family that is happening more and more. Ofer’s mother was in Israel with a great number of his relatives, we were joined by the East Coast sections of our family, more of my family remains speckled all over the world and my closest family were thousands of miles away. It would have been amazing to have had the full family there but I suppose that is what the wedding is for.

Ofer and I realized that very likely the next time we would be seeing many of the people in the room will be at the wedding since we will be pretty MIA over the next 8 months. This applies with both the party with our friends and the brunch with our family. Every person who came have busy schedules and we were so thankful and honored to have so many people choose to celebrate this big step in our lives.