Have I mentioned that Ofer and I met on Match.com. Yep, we are classy like that. We both had exhausted the dating scene in San Francisco and even had tried our luck on the not-so-promising Jdate (Bay Area version is not as broad as the New York version). But after Ofer and I met, we realized that we happened to live in New York at the exact same time, and at one point very close to each other. I wonder how close we ever got to meeting in New York or San Francisco.

Ofer came to the US from Israel when he was 11 and grew up in New Jersey. He migrated to New York for work in 2000. My father grew up in Brooklyn and I still have a lot of family in the Tri-State area so I was always drawn to the area. I also was into musical theater and decided that New York was the place to be. I know, I wasn’t very original but what can you do. All of this accounts for why we both have close friends and family in the area.

Since we were going to be in NY for the week quickly before leaving the country for at least 6 months we decided to throw ourselves an engagement party. Well two actually. Since we both have our own friends and family the New York area we knew that we wanted to mix our groups together. When we looked at the numbers and saw that there might be up to 45 people at the gathering. With that in mind we split up the parties....one for friends and one for family.

My cousin Leslie and her husband Ed went far beyond the call of duty and actually set up the entire engagement dinner with our friends. It was in a restaurant called Legends close to the Empire State Building. Ed worked his magic and we had the entire bottom floor of the restaurant to ourselves.

We spent the night getting to know each other’s friends and catching up with our own. I felt the same way this night that I did in Israel: I wish we could have had more time with each couple to really catch up. It was so nice to see all of our friends getting along so well and it really made me appreciate what an amazing community of people we had on the coast 6,000 miles away from ‘home’.

Ed and Leslie made a toast at the beginning of the night that meant the world to me and Ofer. Leslie has always been like a sister to me. I can’t count how many times I have called on her for advice and she has always been there for me. I truly gained a friend and a family member when Ed joined the family. He watches out for me as if he were the big brother I always wanted and busts my balls like one too. I know that they will always be a couple that Ofer and I will look up and be close to.

We must have stayed for 5 hours just talking, reminiscing, making new friends, enjoying great bottles of wine and tasty New York food.

The next morning Ofer and I had set up and engagement brunch with our families at the Blue Water Grill in Union Square.

Aside: Two days before the engagement brunch with our families, I convinced Ofer to come with me to one of my favorite restaurants in the city. It is a little hole in the wall Chinese restaurant in Chinatown called Joe’s Shanghai that has the most amazing soup dumplings. I REPEAT THEY HAVE THE MOST AMAZING SOUP DUMPLINGS. Even though it is a relatively small restaurant where you eat family style (seated with other families you don’t know) it is actually incredibly well known. Anyhoo. Ofer and I walked in and were escorted to a table with two men already seated enjoying a meal. We got to talking and found out that both men were chefs. (Do I know how to pick a restaurant or what, I mean, we are eating soup dumplings with freaking chefs!!). We started asking for recommendations for dinner and one of the guys told his friend to send us to the restaurant where he is the chef. With some hesitation he told us that we should try the Blue Water Grill in Union Square. We were sitting eating soup dumplings, family style, with the man who was going to be the chef at our engagement brunch two days later!!!! Is that a New York moment or what. :Aside

We definitely made a great choice for a venue. The private room they put us in was beautiful and easily held our 30 guests. When the party was in full swing Ofer and I were literally surrounded by some of the most influential people in our lives.

2nd Aside: Unfortunately Ofer’s mother could not be with us that day because she, of course, flew to Israel to be with her family after her father’s death. She was missed that day, but Ofer made a beautiful toast to his grandfather and his mother’s absence because of the family’s loss. : 2nd Aside

We all enjoyed a delicious three course meal and Ofer and I tired to jockey around the room to get a chance to be with each group and ensure that people were meeting the rest of the room and enjoying themselves. It was a beautiful day. Ofer gave a beautiful speech. My cousin Bobby who has always been like a second father to me also got up and said some amazing words to the crowd. I got up to give a small speech and leaked out a few words of appreciation before I became a girly mess and got teary about the moment. It’s what I do.

Looking around the room it really hit me what was really happening here. It is not just boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and live happily ever after. There is a whole blending of the families. Look, I know that this is not news to you. But at that moment the grandeur of what was happening in my life really struck me. I was, for the first time, looking at my family. Complete with two sides. These were going to be the people we celebrate holidays with, they will be hold our children, they will support us through hard times. It was one of the most intense moments of my life. I wonder if anyone else noticed.



As full as the room was I was very much missing my immediate family; my mom, dad, Lucinda, Sam, Debra, Gary and the girls. It was a bittersweet engagement party for both Ofer and I not having all of our immediate families there. But I suppose we are living our own variation of the blended family that is happening more and more. Ofer’s mother was in Israel with a great number of his relatives, we were joined by the East Coast sections of our family, more of my family remains speckled all over the world and my closest family were thousands of miles away. It would have been amazing to have had the full family there but I suppose that is what the wedding is for.

Ofer and I realized that very likely the next time we would be seeing many of the people in the room will be at the wedding since we will be pretty MIA over the next 8 months. This applies with both the party with our friends and the brunch with our family. Every person who came have busy schedules and we were so thankful and honored to have so many people choose to celebrate this big step in our lives.

After our Florida trip, Ofer and I jetted right up to New York. We spent a few days planning the wedding with the Shawn our planner, stylist, human gps, psychologist, etiquette master and all around wedding guru. Shawn told me that me that the more compliments I write about him the prettier he will make our flower arrangements. Wink.

Shawn works with a team of 2 people: Michael and Meagan. We had met them briefly in a not-so-successful Skype call while we were in Israel so we were very eager to finally meet in person. We had planned to take three full days with the team to really get cracking on wedding plans. They of course knew upfront about our travel plans and also knew that there was a good chance they would only see us twice or so before the actual wedding day.

Shawn doesn’t kid around. He had us booked from 9am until between 5 and 8pm. We were scheduled to see photographers/videographers, go cake tasting, see 7 venues, meet with stationary people, find a band or dj, try on dresses (just me, Ofer was bummed he didn’t get to try some), and hair and make up artists. My man Shawn means business. I like his style.

Each day we tackled as much as we could. Faster than I would have expected I went into complete shut-down mode. You know how some lizards have a second translucent eyelid that just kind of glazes over their eyeballs...that’s what happened to me. I felt like I was back in math class again. However, Shawn is trained to see his brides go into different stages of crazy; from no-opinion ‘everything is beautiful’ mode to ‘lizard eye glaze mode’ all the way to ‘you work for me, Bucko, better make this work’ mode. He stayed in control as I tumbled deeper into trying to wrap my head around the difference between a green matte background with white sheened calligraphy and a shimmery grass finish with chocolate lettering. But I suppose that is why I am incredibly, thank my lucky stars happy to have a wedding planner.

Despite almost complete wedding overload we managed to accomplish quite a but. We chose a venue, the caterer, the photographer/videographer, the entertainment, a wonderful rabbi, make up and hair artists and even A DATE! Ofer and I will be tying the knot next year April 15th...tax day baby. As Ofer says...marriage is taxing (he has no idea how much, wink again). We plan to gather together as many as our friends and family as we can to celebrate our donations to our country and state of choice. In fact we may even have drop-boxes for procrastinators at the ceremony. I’m sure we will be coming up with many cheesy, punny one-liners about the date but it really seems like the absolute best time.

Each night after meeting with Shawn, Megan and Michael, Ofer and I would have to take a moment to really drink in the day and choices we were making. There is nothing happier than planning your wedding day with the person you had been hoping to meet your whole life. Especially when you are lucky enough to pass a lot of the responsibility and stress to a willing, professional, experienced team of planners.

70 years of marriage. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought it was a myth. But 70 years of marriage for my Grandparents is exactly what we celebrated this week. For over 70 years they have been lovers, parents, business partners, friends, artists, bowlers, grandparents, golfers, travelers and great-grandparents...just to mention a few.

My Grandfather still gets tears in his eyes when he tells the story of the moment he fell in love with my Grandmother. “She opened the door to the stoop where I was standing and with light shining behind her she looked as if she were an angel”, told every time as if it were the first. Grandpa can’t fall asleep at night until she is laying next to him. Grandma told me that they hold each other’s hands every night as they fall sleep.

But don’t get the impression that my grandparents are all love, hugs and kisses (even though there is a lot of that). At 90 and 93 years old they still live at home just the two of them, in Florida and still go to the theater and drive themselves to dinner. Did I mention that they are 90 and 93??

My Grandparents have always been active. They were champion bowlers and golfers and were even known to be recognized around town for beating competitors 20 years younger then themselves. Grandpa can speed read a book faster than I can, carves marble sculptures without the use of any power tool and plays Wii Bowling with my father. My grandma is an amazing cook, crafty jokester, master card player and computer wiz; she Skype’s with the whole family, plays virtual card games and sends out some of the most face reddening emails I have ever read. They must have swam in the fountain of youth but they have yet to disclose it’s location.

This year they celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. I’ll tell you, these kids must really like to party; we celebrated their 65th anniversary and had to get right on planning the 70th. We have all decided that it will be the Grandkid’s turn to plan the 75th.

We chose that the best way to get us all together would be on a cruise. It was a 4 night cruise that took us from Fort Lauderdale to Cozumel Mexico, Key West and back. Grandma Florie and Grandpa Mike brought their three children and their loved ones Linny and George, Gil and Lucinda and Steve and Christine. Next came the grandchildren: Leslie, Evan and Vicky, my sister Debra, Dana and myself and Ofer. Bringing up the rear were the great-grandchildren: Cameron, Cole and Veronica. The amazing thing is there are more grandchildren and great grandchildren that unfortunately couldn’t make the cruise.

The second night of the cruise my Aunt Linny and Uncle George arranged an incredibly touching recommitment ceremony complete with a flower girl, an heirloom chuppa, breaking of the glass, and a champagne toast. The 5 grandchildren all stood above Grandma and Grandpa to hold the chuppa and the rest of the family faced them. Uncle George led a beautiful ceremony.

My Grandparents had not planned on what they would say at the ceremony but within 10 seconds they had the whole room in tears. Grandpa says, “You Florie Darling, you’re my whole life. It’s always has been, it always will be. My heart is in your hands. It beats for you. And every beat says, I love you, I love you. And I’ll always love you. More so now than ever.”. My grandmother responded, “ Mike, I love you for what you are, and everything you are. And especially for the promise that you kept to make my children legal.”

Priceless

The love, respect, devotion and gratitude they expressed toward each other reminded all of us that we were apart of something so special that had started almost a century ago with a young man falling in love with a beautiful young lady. From that first choice to be together they have created an entire world. I have never seen two people more in love. Their lives were not without hardships but they say that the place in life that they are in now is the most special of all. Everyday, every moment together is a gift.

We docked in two locations: Cozumel, Mexico and Key West, Florida. Ofer and I were the quintessential tourists in both places. We saw only what was right off the dock. The real joy of the trip was to have the family all together. The trip gave my family a chance to better get to know Ofer and Ofer to better get to know them. I finally got to meet my cousin’s daughter Veronica who was the reason why the word ‘adorable’ was created. I also spent some time with my cousins Cameron and Cole. I knew the boys when I was living in New York. I would crash at their place with their parents when I was in desperate need of family and an escape from the city. I hadn’t seen them in about 5 years and it was amazing to see what great young men they have become.



We tried our darndest to take a little time with each group, family and person on the trip but it was much tougher than we expected. I really wished we had more time all together! But it was nice to have some time to connect especially knowing that we may not be seeing most of my family members until the wedding.

Ofer and I felt so lucky to be able to witness something as special as a 70th wedding anniversary. And what’s more....a 70th wedding anniversary between a couple who is more madly in love than the day they walked down the aisle together. Our dream is to be able to have the two of them at our wedding next year. Hopefully the luck, love and passion that they have for each other will spill over into our lives and they can watch a couple begin their walk to hopefully 70 years of our own wedded bliss.

I have been a very very bad blogger. I have written three different versions of explanations why I have been so. But I have decided not to bore you with my whimpering and just jump back into the swing of things.

After our stay in Hawaii, Ofer and I spent in total about 3 1/2 weeks in Israel. We were fortunate to have been offered a place to stay for the entire time we were there by Ofer’s Uncle Avi and Aunt Riki. Not only were Avi and Riki hosting Ofer and I, they also opened up their home to Ofer’s brother Asaf, his wife Pamela and their three children Elan, Benjamin and Johnathan. Needless to say Avi and Riki are shoe-ins for a top humanitarian award.

The moment I walked through Avi and Riki’s door I was family. They saw to it. We had our own room upstairs, they gave us fresh towels, they taught us how to use the coffeemaker, they stocked the fridge with fruit, yogurt and home-made shakshuka and they gave us a key to the house. They allowed us to say ‘thank you’ three times then they cut us off. No more thank you’s...we were family. I really couldn’t say enough to thank the two of them for hosting us for so long. We all had long family talks, they took us to some of the most interesting and beautiful places in Israel and they made us truly feel at home. I have to admit I am enjoying this whole acquiring a larger family thing. Shayna likes being engaged.

Every day on our Israel trip we went on some new excursion, swam in a new beach or visited a special place to Ofer’s family. It would be tough to chronicle all of the experiences that we had but I will mention some of the highlights.

Avi and Riki live in a beautiful beach town called Nahariya. Nahariya is a suburban town about 40 minutes north of Haifa. From their home it was just minutes to the beach, coffee shops, restaurants and even a zoo.

Ofer was born in Haifa and moved to the US with his family when he was 11 but has since wanted to live there as an adult. I visited Israel when I was 16 and 26 and always wanted to live there for a few months to improve my Hebrew and learn my way around the country. Ofer and I saw it fitting since we both love Israel so much that we should end our 19-month journey in Israel. Ideally we will find an apartment in Tel Aviv for a few months next September or so. Because of this plan we weren’t making ourselves crazy trying to see everything in Israel that we wanted to see. This time was really to be spent with family.

Ofer and his brother’s family live on separate coasts and even though they get to see each other every few months this was going to be the first time in ---- that they will have this length of time together. As I mentioned Asi and Pamela have three children. Let me be more specific: three boys. Let me expand on that: three boys under the age of 5. Ofer and I were studying them closely and taking notes on how to handle such a job with the love, grace, joy, discipline and the teamwork that they employ. Asi and Pamela are a beautiful match. Not only are they an incredible team raising their three boys they clearly have so much love and adoration for each other; they are one of those couples that genuinely enjoy each other’s company. I couldn’t be a luckier girl to join a family that has relationships like that. (And we promised we will be trying to bring those boys cousins in the not so distant future).


One of the first things we did on our trip was visit Ofer’s Grandparents on his Mother’s side of the family. Safta Silvia and Saba Haim. They live in the most posh senior citizen home I have ever seen. It was gorgeous. Silvia is a spitfire. In fact I know that if she and my grandma got together they would have us peeing our pants with laughter even though they hardly speak the same language. We tried to spend at least every other day with her. Over the course of the three weeks not only did she give Ofer and I truly heartfelt marriage advice that brought us to tears she walked with us on the beach, she came with us to the mall and she made sure that we never left her room without our fill of coffee, juice or cake.

Haim was living upstairs from Silvia in a section of the establishment that had more hands-on care. Unfortunately he had a fall about 5 years ago and hasn’t recovered the way that we all would have wished. It was so touching for me to see Ofer with the two of them. He was incredibly loving and connected. He must have told them each ‘I love you’ at least 20 times each time he saw them. This was, of course, the first time that both Silvia and Haim saw Ofer with his new fiance. It was also the first time the first time that they had seen Asi and Pamela in the past 11 years and even more incredibly it was the first time that they had ever met their 3 great-grandchildren. Days after we left Israel Saba Haim passed away. We all felt so fortunate to have spent that time with him.

Early in the trip Avi and Riki threw a party at their house to gather together a lot of the family in the surrounding areas. At least 30 people must have been there. The largest population were cousins of Ofer’s who were mostly between their late 20’s through their 30’s and most with kids. We were a very busy house. We all celebrated Jonathan and Benjamin’s 3rd birthday, Ofer and my engagement, Ofer’s cousin Anat’s engagement and generally us all just being in one place. It was an amazing sight to see.

Once again, I can’t even say how welcomed I felt into the family. One of the most striking things about it was the bond everyone seemed to have with everyone else. I grew up in Northern California with my relatives a 6 hour drive to some and 6 hour flight to others. Although I never felt a lack of family with the incredible community that my parents created for us, it was striking to see the connection everyone at the party had together. They had all grown up together, they watched each other get married and have children and now their children are starting the whole process over again. My impression was that this is more common in Israel than it is in the states, or at least on the US coasts. It definitely gave me a view of a different kind of childhood and family experience that I had never quite seen to that extent.

Ok I’ve written a lot so here comes a list of things we did together with the family and some things Ofer and I did on our own. We visited a zoo next to Avi and Riki’s house, held bunnies and fed ostriches and goats. We drove to ----- and was shown the border between Israel and Syria. We swam in the ocean in Tel Aviv and ate the most delicious watermelon I have ever tasted. We got an incredible tour of Jerusalem complete with an amazing light show that we very highly recommend. We had a bonfire, watched the sunset and slept on the beach in Caesaria. We walked around Haifa and I was lucky enough to see the house Ofer grew up in and the school he attended before he left for America. We also had amazing visits with different groups from Ofer’s family who also opened their doors and hearts to us in a way that I will always cherish. And much much more.

The land of milk and honey and hummus did not disappoint.