Ofer and I realized something pretty quickly after getting engaged: We will have to get married. This was news to us. When we told people on the trip or over the phone that he had just proposed most people’s first question is “When is the wedding?” I had spent nights dreaming about how Ofer would propose to me. Would he do it in Paris at the top of the Eifel Tower? Would he do it on the cruise with my family in July? Would he put it in some dessert after a nice meal? The ideas were endless (of course, none of them were even close to the surprise that he gave me). But a wedding? That part I hadn’t really thought about and we really had never discussed. BEING married we had talked about. The kind of couple we wanted to be, what he needed from a wife, what I needed from a husband, how we wanted to raise our children. But the actual wedding day…we had failed to discuss. I have to admit I like that about us. We are more concerned about our connection and the kind of relationship and family we want to be dedicated to instead of just some one-day party. Having said that. Now we get to plan a wedding woo, woo!!!

So we started talking about the kind of wedding we wanted; when we wanted to have it and how to make it all work considering we are traveling. Location: Most of Ofer’s family and my extended family is on the East Coast, so we decided would have it there (this sounds like an easy decision but we really wrestled with it). Date: We thought that a good time to do the wedding would be after we were in South America before we headed towards Europe; which put it around April or May, which is a nice time in the New York area. This meant that the Europe part of our trip would be our Honeymoon which we really liked the idea of. I started making lists. This will be of no shock to those that really know me. Lists of wedding colors I liked, lists of bridesmaids and groomsmen, lists of family and friends to attend the wedding, lists of things I needed to make lists for. That’s when the nightmares began. Every night a different dream about messing something up for the wedding. And every morning I woke up with a headache from clenching and grinding my jaw while I was asleep. I had visions of making phone calls to florists while crossing the border into Cambodia and looking at pictures of linens in a rain soaked tent in Africa.

As Ofer and I discussed the kind of venue, amount of people, kind of food, type of music we saw very quickly that it was going to be pretty impossible to plan something of this sort as we traveled. We began our search for the right wedding planner. I know that a lot of girls imagine their wedding day, but as a kid I really just imagined who my husband would be. I knew that to a T (and happened to meet someone who surpassed it), but the wedding day was something I had forgotten to consider. Am I a French country bride, a romantic bride, a silly bride, a vintage bride, an over the top bride?? I found phone numbers for different planners in the Tri-State Area on www.theknot.com. I spoke to about 15 different men and women. Some new to the industry, some veterans and asked as many questions as I could. I looked at pictures from weddings they have put on and spoke with references. The more questions the planners asked the more Ofer and I saw that we very much see eye to eye on what we want and what we don’t want and what is and isn’t important to us for the day.

I had assumed that we would be working with a woman (this is one of those sexist things that go in the opposite direction), she would be creative, strong, clear headed and able to keep me calm. I did speak with some very impressive women who were the heads of companies that looked very impressive. But I also spoke with a few men. There was one man in particular who really stood out for me, his name is Shawn Rabideau. I explained to Ofer that when I spoke with him he made me feel very much at ease. He asked great questions and suggested things that I hadn’t thought about. But after talking with so many people who seemed to offer most of the same services, I became quite overwhelmed by the decision. This would be the person and the company that would have our wedding day in the palm of their hands. I knew that I wouldn’t have the ability to be hands-on in the planning like I had always assumed I would be. This person would be giving me choices to make but considering that we would be in Cambodia, Rwanda, Nepal and Tanzania before the wedding I really had to trust the planner. Ofer was wonderful. We talked about the fees for each person, the feeling I had gotten from them and he was with me for a second call to a few of them. Then he told me to go with my gut. He said the most important thing was that the planner was easy to talk to and made me feel calm. Do I have a great fiancé or what?

My gut was telling me to go with Shawn Rabideau. He was very straightforward, asked intriguing questions, was not pushy and really seemed to want to understand who we were. I told him that I had chosen Shawn and Ofer and I shook on it so I couldn’t change my mind after having made the decision. We called Shawn to let him know that we wanted to move ahead. After that last talk with Shawn I was convinced that we had chosen a great wedding planner. He took another hour with us to ask more questions and make sure that we were a fit for him too, which I really appreciated. I was so excited to talk with him more, hear about his ideas and see him when we are in NY in July to start checking out venues, food, music, flowers etc. You can check out his website at www.shawnRabideau.com How exciting!!

I emailed my friend Leah to tell her that we had chosen a planner. It has to be said that Leah is a wedding guru. No joke. She knows everything there is to know about weddings. Since getting engaged she has sent me 2-3 emails a day about flowers, dresses, great wedding websites, venues. I looooove it. Soon after I sent her the email with Shawn’s name she wrote back something along the lines of, “Wow, great timing! I’m sure Shawn’s popularity is going to shoot through the roof after the show airs”. What show????? Apparently there is a show on the Bravo Network right now that is called “Bethenny Getting Married?” a spin off from “The Real Housewives of New York”. Bethenny lives in NY and is planning a wedding (while pregnant) in 4 weeks and guess whom she picked to be her planner??? Shawn Rabideau!!


Ofer and I were shocked to say the least. We had no idea. I had been doing research about planners for weeks and Leah had 3 minutes with his name and figured this out, she is nuts. We searched online and yup, it was true, our Shawn was her planner. By the way, Bethenny is a piece of work; I like her energy and her honesty but this is a hormone-ridden woman who wants Shawn to put together a wedding that really takes at least a year to plan in 4 weeks. Brave dude. Not only is he working with a 6 month-pregnant, NY raised bride for a rushed wedding he is doing it with cameras rolling fully aware that TV networks need drama to sell their show. He must have known he was in for a bumpy ride, but I’m sure the exposure will be well worth it, smart guy. Our confidence in Shawn shot through the roof. If he can handle her, he can handle anything. That night we got to watch our wedding planner on TV, honestly, who gets to do that!